Learning to Let Go: A Lesson in Progress

A few weeks ago, my 8-year relationship ended with the man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The break-up ended up creating a huge blow towards me, which led to triggering my anxiety and clinical depression. I won't get into too many personal details as to why and how the relationship came to be. However, despite the ongoing emotional pain and stress, this break-up can serve as a life lesson for me. For any relationship or marriage to work, two people have to work together and make some sort of compromise. Every couple and relationship have their differences and yes, they may come to a conclusion where both sides are satisfied and happy. At the same time though, there are instances and situations where a couple cannot come to a compromise and it is difficult for them to get to a point where they are both content. In the case of my recent relationship, I found myself in that position. But, instead of pulling and pushing back and forth, and trying to alter his perspectives into mine, I realized that it won't work out. Why should I exhume my efforts and energy into this game of cat-and-mouse if he isn't able to agree from my perspective and vice-versa? Therefore, I am undergoing this somewhat subtly painful process of learning how to let go.

Letting go has always been a personal challenge for me. Not just in relationships or friendships but strangely, in inanimate objects as well. I guess you would say that I have a sentimental attachment to certain objects because 1) they are memorable, or 2) I spent a considerable amount of money on that object. An example is a mechanical pencil that I owned. It was a Pentel Energize mechanical pencil with a purple rubber grip that I bought for around $6 at a local art store. I recently allowed someone from work to borrow and use it, only in hopes that he would return it back to me. But, he hasn't. I am considering asking him to return it back but I stopped and asked myself if it's really that big of a deal. First off, although it's a nice pencil, I have a collection of other mechanical pencils back home and in reality, working adults really don't use mechanical pencils anymore; instead, ballpoint pens are a craze in the office. And I can definitely afford another mechanical pencil if I wanted to purchase one. But, like that pencil that I had a sentimental attachment to, I also had a fervent sentimental attachment in my recent relationship.

I guess what I am trying to say in this blog post is to avoid giving yourself false hope. Some people are dreamers and idealists, while others are realists. In other words, it'll be what it'll be. It is what it is. People experience and handle break-ups differently. But, time heals and the wounds and scars that were once there will eventually be very minimal. To anyone who is reading this, if you're going through a break-up like I am, try not to blame yourself for causing it. Because in the end, all you'll be giving yourself is guilt and regret. No one is at full fault for the outcome of a relationship. Rather, take it as a learning lesson and utilize the experience to make yourself wiser and more mature. Sometimes, all we need is a mistake or event in our lives to give us that wake-up call and to start anew. ✌