My Tattoos & Their Meanings

It's been a while since my last blog post. Due to health issues, the start of the new semester, and finding some work, I did not have enough leisure time to sit down and create new content. However, since the Thanksgiving holiday is coming up, I finally have some time to write up a new post. And I thought that I'd write about the art embedded in my skin. I always thought that tattoos defined an individual's own personal journey in life. Each tattoo has a memory and uniqueness to it. Mind you, I had wanted a tattoo for the longest time ever since I was in college. But, growing up in a conservative Korean household with Presbyterian Christian beliefs, my family generally frowned down on tattoos. My parents also associated tattoos as gang-affiliated. For a while, I didn't get any because I was worried about disappointing them. Ironically now, I have a total of six: four on my left wrist and two on my left, upper arm. Referring back to a previous post, I mentioned that I taught English in China for three weeks. That is where I decided to get my first tattoo. I know, I know. You, the reader, are probably thinking, "Why of all places, China? Is it safe? Couldn't you have waited until you returned to the states?" Despite these thoughts, I wanted my first tattoo to be a very memorable one. And when am I ever going to teach in China again? Plus, I was across the ocean from my parents so at this point, they couldn't do anything about it. I felt that this was the perfect opportunity. During my time in the city of Jinhua, I decided to not only get one but two tattoos on different days. I am a simple person and didn't want anything too excessive or flamboyant, so I preferred minimal designs. I began my tattoo journey with two stars. The big star represents me and the smaller one represents a student. If you look sideways, it looks as though the two stars are joining hands together. To me, this meant that although I am not there physically to teach them, the students will always be near and dear to my heart. The stars also reminded me of a picture that I painted on Culture Day, which was a day when the students would introduce many aspects of Chinese culture to us. The painting was an orange and yellow star. Even though I have mediocre painting skills, the students were appreciative and showed their excitement because they were anxious to present their talents to us on Culture Day. And that made me really happy for them. After sending a lengthy text message to my parents apologizing and asking them for their forgiveness, I was pleasantly surprised at their open-minded response stating that they would support my decision on getting tattoos. However, I try not to bring it up with them because I know that they are still conservative in some aspects.

Fast-forward to my return to the states. Graduate school hadn't even began yet and I was busily preparing for the start of the new semester. Summer was gradually fading away with the onset of fall. I wanted to reward myself for advancing and progressing my education to this point. In result, my collection of tattoos grew slowly but surely from there. Shout-out to Body Art & Soul Tattoo on Sunset Boulevard for servicing my last four tattoos. My third tattoo was a crescent moon and it coincidentally complimented with the two stars. The reason why I chose a crescent moon was that it reminded me of one of the earlier dates that I've had with my significant other. We went to the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles for the first time, and I remember going up to a balcony and gazing up at the cold night sky with him. 💜 I also recall expressing many thoughts and emotions that night, something that I rarely do with people that I don't really know too well. A few weeks later, I received my fourth one: a simple stem with leaves. This one signified the concepts of growth and life to me. I've endured some tough times in my life and as a person, I am still growing and learning new things about myself. Also, tattoos that are floral or retain some botanical element are meaningful to me. By this time, school was in session and I have to say that it was a little hilarious to see my classmates react to my developing collection of tattoos. I knew these classmates from our China trip since they were also teaching and we have grown to be good friends. As a generally quiet and shy individual, I guess my demeanor gave off the impression that I would be the type who wouldn't make that leap to receive many tattoos. But, I eventually did and like I say from time to time, "It is always the quiet ones." 😜

My fifth tattoo came around when I was going through a tough time during the middle of the semester. Classes were overbearing, my anxiety and depression kicked in, and I had just been laid off from a job. My health was also deteriorating due to the lack of sleep and my hair falling out. I underestimated how intense grad school was and still is. Whenever I am in a state of vulnerability, my mind seems to wander off into negative thoughts that cause me to become more emotional than I already am. Which is a very toxic habit to do. I began thinking about my deceased dog, Didi and how much I wanted her next to me whenever I felt stressed. Didi was my Shih-Tzu who passed away in early 2016 at age 13 and she was my furry best friend since I was in middle school. Throughout every hardship, heartbreak, and memorable event that I experienced, she was there for me. Out of all of the pets that I've had, she was the best one. In result, that is why I decided to get a design of a heart pulse with a paw-print in memory of her. My sixth and most recent tattoo is a cross-shaped design from BTS' 2016 album, Wings. If you know me well enough, most of my family and friends know that I am a huge BTS fan. Their music and lyricism have generated an impact on me. I've been listening to them since their debut year back in 2013. But, it wasn't until when their Wings album released that I began listening to them again fervently. In addition, it is such a great album.

I often ask myself if I will get more in the future. To be honest, I am not very sure but most likely and realistically, I might. In the meantime, I plan to abstain on getting more due to finances and time management. (Tattoos can be quite pricey!) Tattoos are still perceived with a stigma that is usually pessimistic, especially in the workplace. I am well aware of the consequences or impressions that I may receive from others. However, I did not choose my tattoos impulsively and in result, I do not regret getting them at all. I know my limits and when it becomes too much. Each tattoo that I chose to get was thought out with care. My body is my own and I am willing to make the choices that I create with it. 🙏