He Said, She Said

In observance of Valentine's Day today, I thought that I would offer my two cents in a subject that the majority of people encounter and experience in their lives. That subject would be relationships. In fact, romantic relationships. Being a young adult, I've had my fair share of them. Actually, two. Which doesn't seem like a lot at all as compared to those who have had and engaged in more. However, both of my relationships had + have been long-term so emotionally, I've endured quite a lot in that spectrum. So, the main question is this: How do we keep a relationship healthy and stable? There are several general and obvious factors such as trust, communication, and patience. But, are those really what completes and defines a healthy, stable relationship? It seems like it, right? All of those factors are positive. There is no certain or confirmed answer though, because everyone goes through different relationships with different people. The outcome is that one experience may be more varied than the other. People may enter relationships for the sake of experiencing what it's like, perhaps feeling the thrill of someone who is interested in you and potentially becoming your future soul-mate. Oftentimes, these sentimental actions develop into a lifelong romantic commitment whether it be prolonged dating or even marriage. Not trying to sugarcoat the concept of relationships, but they can be difficult and frightening. No doubt about that, especially if you're just experiencing your first relationship. When you engage in a romantic connection with someone else, you're not only introducing yourself and revealing your true colors. You're also sharing your life with that person as your connection develops and blooms into something more meaningful. The insecurities, fears, secrets, and maybe even trauma that a person may possess is eventually exposed to the other partner. This is where the issue of trust comes in. All of those negative sentiments are usually intertwined with the lack of worldly trust and personal experience - painful memories, emotional hardship, failed success, etc. In order to ease and stabilize that, the other partner must be willing to understand and maintain an open mind. And vice-versa, if both partners had been vulnerable. This approach is meant to view the other person beyond his or her physicality and attempt to understand where he or she is deriving from. "Try to put yourself in the other's shoes." Hence, the perception of sympathizing while keeping an open-minded attitude is crucial to any relationship. It balances and neutralizes both sides.

Sometimes, it just takes the first step to develop trust with an interesting soul.
Credit - BTS (방탄소년단) Love Yourself Highlight Reel

Yes, I am a huge BTS fan and I decided to add a still from their highlight reel. They redefined K-Pop for me and I am going off-tangent here... (Go, ARMY!) Directing my attention towards the act of communication, I believe that it is one of the top factors towards the development of a healthy and stable relationship. Lacking communication can lead to misunderstandings, and the misconstrue of actions and words. Not to mention moments of awkward silence. Now, I'm not saying that a couple has to talk to one another ALL of the time. Talking that much is tiring enough and there should be a respectable amount of personal space. But, when there is an issue or a slump in a relationship, a couple should take the time to talk it out. This is the initial and reasonable step in communicating. The unwillingness or refusal to communicate and resolve issues out between two partners can become problematic. Emotional feelings of boredom, distrust, and frustration emerge and tensions arise. I'll provide a segment of my own personal experience. While I will not delve into too many revealing details, I will state that things could have been handled better. The lack of communication was minor during my generally abusive, first relationship. The three emotional feelings mentioned above were present, but later escalated onto something more serious as the communication became more misconstrued between us. It was a lack of emotional support and a narrow-minded attitude on his part. His temper terrified me and I always felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. It is a very sad and haunting memory that will probably be scarred in me for the rest of my life. While I managed to get out of that toxic relationship, I left with my head held up high. And I advise that for any woman or man who just got out of an unhealthy relationship. You are worthy of so much more, and life is going to offer you greater and better things. Don't allow one individual to bring you down. So, this is why communication is vital. Understand the other person and allow him or her to understand you. Try to find the root of the problem with each other, not against each other. Talk things out slowly, but surely. Be open. Be patient.

Ah, yes, patience. We humans are known to be an impatient group, and I am a witness and self-confessed victim to that feeling. From waiting in a long line at a drive-thru, waiting for our computers to load, to sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Seems like almost anything that doesn't seem to go our way will tick us off. What about being patient when it comes to relationships? Is it better to rush things through or take it slow? It depends on how a couple's current connection is like towards one another. When a couple is confident and ready enough to take the next step together, then that's when they will make their decision. 

Knowing that this person is who you want to spend the rest of your life with can be fulfilling. You get to experience the ups-and-downs of life as time passes by. With time passing by, couples grow older with age. With that adds years of personality growth and the development of wisdom. Unconditional appreciation and love thrives in long-term relationships. And it should be present in budding relationships as well. 💙